When To Get Worried: Is my TV show on its way out?

Seriously, coolest Chuck poster ever.

I got into a discussion with my husband this morning about TV shows while we were watching Chuck. It was during an episode ("Chuck vs The C.A.T. Squad" se4) that was really upsetting me and Justin didn't fully understand why. Turns out, it was such a long explanation, that I had to pause the DVD to talk it all out. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy watching Chuck, it's one of my favorites and I think it's a great show, but watching season 4 has high-lighted why there is only going to be one more season, a shortened season at that. After launching into about a ten minute rant with Justin staring at me from the couch with wide, slightly-frightened eyes, nodding, I decided to turn it into a blog post.

Over the last few years I've watched most of the shows I have loved come to the twilight of their triumphant runs on TV and slowly fizzle out. I'd say one of the most graceful goodbyes had to be Scrubs. After a terrible 7th season (due to the writers strike and a network change), Scrubs recovered beautifully in their 8th and final season with a perfect "So long!" As long as you don't count the spin-off, "Med-School," Scrubs went off the air with its dignity intact. However, a lot of shows don't let that happen. It's really hard to watch something that you've loved start to slowly wither in front of your eyes, but that's unfortunately the way most TV shows go, and what I've identified as sure-fire signs of a series' impending doom are three-fold (minor spoilers below).


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1. When a show changes premise from what it was originally based on. 

I've felt that ever since Chuck started being taken seriously as a "real" spy half-way through season 3, things started to come apart a little bit. Most all of my favorite moments are from the first two seasons because the show I fell in love with was the show where Chuck wasn't a spy. They've ultimately tweaked my favorite character, and I've been slightly uncomfortable with that ever since.

In the beginning, Chuck started out as a regular guy who doesn't think he's special, has low self-esteem, and hasn't found his place or his purpose. Then, he's thrown into these crazy spy situations that he doesn't belong in, and magic happens! The dynamic between Casey, Sarah, and Chuck for the first two seasons is hilarious and compelling and Chuck's struggle to deal with his personal demons along the way is what made the show great. What makes Chuck really Chuck is being the out-of-place goofball who finds a way to accidentally contribute something to each operation because of the hidden talents he's only just discovering he has and/or his uber-nerd know-how. You take that away from him, change up that dynamic, and you've completely switched around what the show was originally built on and why it was so good.

Is this always a bad thing, for a show to completely change directions? No, not always. A show can grow and evolve if they do it correctly, which I think Chuck is trying to do, even if it doesn't work for me personally. But how about this example: How I Met Your Mother? The first 4 seasons were awesome and at the beginning of every new story line we had the promise that what was being told to us was going to lead somewhere important, somehow. Then in the middle of season 5, it started feeling like this story-teller is a huge liar, that hardly any of the stories that were now being presented were leading us anywhere, and slowly but surely it became increasingly more difficult to care. Who is the mother? Who cares? It's not like the writers are ever going to tell us, and everything that happens from here till the end of this show will now just be filler. HIMYM has absolutely lost it's way because the powers-that-be have been blinded by the addition of new seasons and have forgotten they once had an aim (and, I'm not just talking about who the mother is, but smaller stories within the group of friends, as well).

Which leads me to another version of premise-change that can really take the wind out of the sails of any good show: breaking that sexual tension. When a couple is presented in the first few episodes as the one to root for, then they finally get together and the time to root for them ends, something in the show usually dies. Just take a look at The Office. Or, once again, look at HIMYM. Once Ted stopped chasing Robin, they had to find someone else to chase her and BarRobin was born, the less-interesting, slightly more disturbing version of Rachel/Joey from Friends. And now that she's gone through both of them, it seems they are going to start the cycle over again here in season 7. For some reason, without that element a show cannot survive or they try to recreate it, which rarely ever works. How Friends and Scrubs were able to keep it going is beyond me, but bravo (and Friends barely survive the Joey/Rachel debacle, a premise change nearing the end of its run that made me physically ill).


2. When a show starts breaking its own rules.
This is something that bothers me much, much more than the first does. What brought this entire topic up today was, during the episode of Chuck we were watching, a chopper drops three of Sarah's old friends down into Chuck's apartment complex to pick her up for a party and then they fly off, as if no one would see that or think that was weird, or suspect Sarah of being a spy. It has begun to make me so angry that gradually throughout the last season, random spy things like that can just happen on this show without any kind of consequence.

In the beginning, Sarah and Casey had a cover, they couldn't let anyone compromise it and went to great lengths to keep that from happening. Now, not only do Awesome and Morgan know they're spies and Morgan actually GOES on missions (which, can I just point out, completely undermines how hard it is to be a spy), but unnecessary displays of spy-dom occur far too often as if being a spy is no longer a big deal. Nothing like that would have been tolerated in the first few seasons, but now it's just the norm.

This subtle lack of continuity in a show is a big indication that the writers are running out of avenues to venture down. Also, it feels like tiny examples of the show jumping the shark over and over again. Glee, a show that is the epitome of the term 'hot mess,' has actually changed facts to fit where they want their plot to go. When the character, Blaine, was introduced he was a senior but this season he's all of a sudden a junior so that he can stay on as a regular when Chris Colfer leaves at the end of this year. Also, recently a second "Glee club" has been established at McKinley with no regard to the previous rule that a minimum number of students have to have joined in order for them to compete at sectionals. Why worry about a rivalry if they don't even have enough students to compete unless we are just supposed to forget that rule ever existed in the first place. Outrageous. Another great example of this is Heroes, which completely left its rules behind in season 2. When the viewers stop being able to trust the show's own logic, what can be trusted?


3. When characters stop being true to who they are.
Of all three signs, this is the one that is the most upsetting to me. However, if a show does the other two things but still strongly roots its characters in what truly makes them who they are, I believe it can overcome and survive. Nothing is more important than a show's characters, in my opinion, which is why, overall, Chuck still works for me. Even through all the goofy circumstances and odd adjustments to the story, the characters never falter. Chuck may be a spy now, but at his core he is still the same Chuck I've always loved, and that's the real reason I enjoy the show. It never compromised the heart of the show.

On the other hand, when a show does mess with the characters, I don't think there is really any way to recover. Dexter kind of scared me at the beginning of this new season (6) when it seemed that the writers had made Dexter uncharacteristically reckless in order to introduce more humor into the show. Thankfully the show has since recovered its footing where it should be anchored, but other shows' characters aren't so lucky. HIMYM, once again, has started to turn their main characters into hollow shells of what they used to be, making them more like stereotypes or caricatures of what they were originally. Gossip Girl is irresponsible in handling their characters' love-lives in its later seasons when characters switch feelings for one another like they all have bipolar disorder. This sign of doom can also be seen in Glee, of course, where the characters don't even have traits to stay "true to" since they are changed so often to fit what whim the writers choose next.

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In the end, each fan is going to have to decide for themselves what they can deal with in a show they love. How much is too much to stay on board? But no matter if you bail or if you stick it out, these things are what I've found to be nice road signs which eventually lead us to the end. The best thing to hope for is that the writers of your favorite show know when to cut and run and let it die with as much grace as possible (like Seinfeld, and a fair few more, were able to do) without trying to stretch it farther than it can go. 

Movie Response: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

The reason I have titled this a movie "response" instead of a review is because there is no way on Earth I could ever review this as a film. I am so in love with the book series I am blind to anything that would make The Deathly Hallows Part 2 anything other than just a book adaptation. So, this is more about how an avid HP-book fan (who also happens to love film) has responded to it. 

I have sat down about five different times over the past two weeks trying to begin what I imagine won't even be a review of this movie as much as it is me just weeping over my keyboard, and each time I was unable to accomplish anything. My love for the Harry Potter series knows no bounds, so sitting down to write about the end of it is quite emotionally overwhelming. I don't even know where to start or how to organize my thoughts. So, hopefully this post won't turn into a horrible mess, hah! I've been told by a few people that if it's so hard to write I should just not write it, maybe it's too close. But usually, when something means this much to me, I have to write it out, get it out on paper so I don't have to carry it around. It's my own little version of the Pensieve.

I think I've gone about trying to write this the wrong way. With other movies of the HP franchise, I would have to see them over and over to really nail down all the things I wanted to say, otherwise I'd be at a loss. But with this one, I have so many things to say just from the first viewing, that seeing it over and over again before I started writing has actually become a hindrance. Now that I've had some space from it I think I can finally start. LET'S DO THIS.

Gorgeous graphic, no idea who to credit.

Two and a half weeks ago I reread the last two hundred pages of The Deathly Hallows (since that's what Part 2 will deal with). Also, it was my fourth time to reread, so this wasn't new territory for me. However, the new thing I did was I read it aloud in the span of about a day and a half. It was something I wanted to do because my husband was on a camping trip, I had the house to myself, and I had never read any part of the HP series aloud before. I also knew it was the last time I would get to read the book without having the movie in my mind to influence me one way or another. However, I had no idea what reading these last few chapters in this way would do or the effect it would have on me. For some reason, that experience allowed the story to settle in much deeper than it ever had before, and by the end of the chapter called “The Forest Again” I could barely finish saying some of the sentences because I was crying so hard. I definitely collected a nice pile of tissues and by the time I finished the book, around 4 AM that Saturday night, for the nth time in my life I fell asleep holding a Harry Potter book (judge if you will).

I don’t have reactions like this to every series I read. I’ve cried at the end of a few because they have moved me, but I have never felt so deeply connected to characters like I have when reading Harry Potter. It’s absolutely my heart and I love it so much. The only book series that has ever rivaled it is Lord of the Rings. So, needless to say, heading into the theater to see the ending for the first time was confusing. I was excited because I couldn't wait to see what it looked like, I was dreading it because I didn't want it to end (plus I knew some of the things that happen within it are horribly sad), I was skeptical because there are moments that I wanted to be absolutely perfect, I was hopeful because Yates had done a great job with the last three movies, and yet I was scared that there was no way it could all really hold up to the standards I held for it. 

I'm not sure if any of you have seen this cartoon before:

But... this was pretty much me and my crew during the opening. It didn't take us, especially me, long to get emotional. In fact, the first shot of the entire film is so meaningful I couldn't even stand it. We start to hear one of Desplat's beautiful pieces (the one called Lily's Theme) played over a shot of a silhouetted figure, shrouded in black, Severus Snape. He watches over the courtyard as the students are marched inside the castle in a sort of boot camp style arrangement. A thoughtful, perhaps indiscernible expression is worn on Alan Rickman's face, and then the Harry Potter logo appears.

It was absolutely the perfect way to open this movie. Snape is the character that the entire series hinges on. It would have been easy to go straight in to the trio's story at first. I mean, that's the next step in the book, after all. Yet Yates is smart enough to know that he has to remind movie audiences that there is a crap-ton of mystery around Snape and that, by God, we're finally going to figure it out within these next two hours. Not to mention, he threw all of us book fans an enormous treat by opening with Lily's song during a Snape shot, something movie-goers will only understand after they see it. (HIGH FIVE!) Since I wasn't expecting this image so early in the movie, I got choked up immediately (especially since, Snape is my favorite character).

This opening set the bar pretty high, but I felt like the movie continued to hit the right mark in the following scenes, too. Helena Bonham Carter playing Hermione playing Bellatrix was enigmatic, Ron's hilarious and oddly attractive Death Eater costume was awesome, and the dragon at Gringotts was exactly how I pictured it. Exactly! There were some changes that were made for the movie, such as the goblets didn't burn the trio, but I think it was ok to leave little things like this out. Especially since visually, it would be really hard to explain what was happening without having a Legolas-line in there explaining the charm. ("Guys, it's a diversion!") I thought it was smart to cut that.

When the trio made it to Hogsmeade I got really nervous because I knew from that point on there would be no moment of relief until the end. I was also curious to see how they dealt with Aberforth since so much of Dumbledore's story had been left out. Just as I wondered that, this line happened: "I don't care about what happened between you and your brother," as if Daniel Radcliffe had paused the movie to say directly to me 'Audree, it's not gonna happen, we will not be dealing with that storyline. That crap doesn't matter.' And while I guess I understand why it had to be left out at this point, since it would have been pretty overwhelming to bring it up in the last hour and a half of the entire 8-movie series, I was still slightly disappointed.

Some may argue it was unnecessary backstory, but I love that Dumbledore had a sordid, questionable past. It is just another example in this series of how choices define a person’s life (a motif that the series deals with in every book). It also makes Dumbledore so much more relatable and human, in my opinion, because it shows us he had flaws that even he had to overcome. It makes all of his achievements that much greater because, unlike we were lead to think by seeing Dumbledore through Harry’s idealizing eyes, Dumbledore wasn’t always this god-like, all-knowing genius. Once he was a mixed up kid who was overly ambitious and self-centered. He had to work through all of that to become great, and that’s one of my favorite elements of his character.

Also, it mirrors Snape’s life to a degree. Obviously these characters are very different, but a lot of their choices in the past lead them to be the great Wizards they were. Which, I believe, might be why Dumbledore ended up giving Snape another chance, because he saw some of himself in Snape and believed that people could turn around from bad choices they have made in the past. Leaving Dumbledore's past out of it robs the movie audience of this depth to the story. But then again, maybe it wouldn't have worked so well on screen and in the last stretch of the story. I forgive them.


When the trio is taken by Neville through the portrait back into Hogwarts and they emerge into the Room of Requirements to clapping and to the original Harry Potter theme music from the first movie, tears. Tear. Tears. So sweet and so wonderful! I especially appreciated the fact that they were able to keep some funny or light-hearted moments going, especially in this scene. Helped to balance all the looming deaths a bit, I think. (Also, can we just take a moment to applaude Yates for Neville/Luna? I always thought that's how it should have ended up!)

It was after this scene that the movie did one of those things that makes all book fans cock their heads to side and say: "Whaaaa?" Ginny comes in and says Snape has heard Harry was spotted in Hogsmeade and he calls all the students to the Great Hall. Then he makes a speech (with cleverly worded phrases that can later be interpreted differently) and asks the students to step forward if any of them know where Harry might be. Then Harry jumps out and accosts Snape for killing Dumbledore and wreaking havoc on Hogwarts as the Order of the Phoenix marches through the doors.

That moment was pretty epic, however, it never happened in the book. I do, on the other hand, understand why they added it. It was important for them to establish that Snape has killed the headmaster and now he is parading around as the headmaster, standing in Dumbledore's spot. Here the line is visually (albeit symbolically) drawn in the sand with the two sides taking stands. The only issue is that Snape belongs on the side of the line Harry is standing on, so as a Snape fan, it was hard for me to hear Harry yell horrible things at him, but it was good for the audience who didn't know what the heck was to come, plus it gave Snape more screen time which is always the better choice. Then, "The Sacking of Severus Snape" happens and the epicness progresses because McGonagall steps out and displays a level of badassery we've rarely seen in previous Harry Potter films. (Anyone else notice that Snape knocks the Carrows down himself during his duel with McGonagall? PRETTY SNEAKY, SEV.) 

One nit-pick tangent: The only part about this scene I did not like was when McGonagall told Filch to take the Slytherins to the dungeons like they were in trouble. I get it, the Slytherins are supposedly the "bad guys" but that's... not really true. And the movie kind of took the idea that "all Slytherins are bad" and ran with it. It undermines a lot of what I think houses stand for. Some people have even gone so far as to say they should just eliminate Slytherin house but I think it’s important to have Slytherin in Hogwarts. The reason why I feel this way is that motif I keep talking about in context of Harry Potter: choices. I think the sorting hat has a lot more to do with choices than people realize (Harry even says this to his son at the end), and by taking Slytherin away, you are eliminating a choice the students could make. Harry could have been sorted easily in Slytherin, but he chose Gryffindor. I guess what I am saying is you can’t have good without the bad, and so Rowling keeps it that way to show that life is full of choice and no matter where you are put, even in Slytherin, you can always choose to be good. Look at Slughorn. He’s a Slytherin and the worst thing he’s ever done is be a raging opportunist and steal some weeds from Herbology.

Just because someone is in Slytherin doesn’t mean that they are evil. Being sorted into a house is more about which traits are stronger in you, but not necessarily that you lack any of the other houses’ traits. There are examples of many people acting “uncharacteristically” within all houses. You could use Percy as an example, or an even better one, Peter Pettigrew, for Gryffindors who don’t always do the “courageous” thing. In fact, Peter turned out to be one of the most cowardly and treacherous characters in the entire story. And then we have Snape who was a Slytherin who spent more than half his life choosing to be the most courageous spy in the Wizarding World, constantly in danger. They had to make choices and that defined them; it was not the houses they were placed in. Dumbledore did many things in his youth that a lot of people would say are Slytherin traits, while Snape did many things in the second half of his life that were very Gryffindor. So to lump all Slytherins together and send them away, with the rest of the Great Hall cheering, just rubbed me the wrong way. In the book she gave all of-age students a choice, and I like that better. Because Slytherins, by definition look out for themselves and probably would have decided to leave anyways, but at least then she didn't single them all out.
 < / tangent>


Back to the review: This is when all of the professors and members of the Order start stationing people all over the castle and setting up protective charms. As soon as this began I started to tear up. Not only was Desplat's beautiful score to blame for this, but also what Hogwarts represented to the characters and to me, and knowing that it was about to be destroyed. When it was attacked by the Death Eaters and parts of it began to fall apart and be set on fire, it felt like I was watching a character I love die. Not to mention the little moments Yates gives us with characters we know will die, just before the battle begins (Remember Lupin quoting himself, and the "You ok Freddie? Me too" moment? TEARS. TEARS FOREVER.) And from that point on, the flood gates were open. There was no "Is she crying?" about it. It was more a question of just how hard the crying was at any given moment.

From here, all hell breaks loose and the battle has officially begun. I felt most all elements of the battles were just perfect. The graphics, the pacing, the music, pretty much everything seemed wonderfully awful, like it was supposed to be. They also added an element that I thought worked really well in the film, Harry being able to hear the horcruxes, which simplified Harry's search for them and I think added to the coalescence that he is one. For movie-only audiences, that probably worked very well to smooth out any complications or misunderstandings in dealing with that storyline, plus it helped trim some of the extra exposition that would seem out of place being explained at this point.

It's here I have to mention how wonderful the performances of the trio really are. Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint cannot be complimented enough for their chemistry and their talents. Especially Dan, who in many scenes gave me goosebumps, specifically when he tries to look into Voldemort's mind. So intense, so genuine. It also needs to be pointed out that film was the first time I didn't question Ralph Fiennes once as Voldemort. His performance in Part 2 was spot on and I believed him every second he was on screen. I don't know if it was because he got to do more with him because Voldy was a lot more emotional in this one, or what, but whatever he did sold me on him, finally.

Like the book, the movie pulls no punches. People are going to die, people you really love, and it might be shocking, and it might not even happen while you're able to watch, because that's war. After the trio saves Draco and Blaise and kill the Diadem, they have to run down to the boat house (Which... I don't know why they changed where this next scene takes place from the Shrieking Shack to a boat house, but ok, whatever. I guess it's not really that big of a deal.). As they make their way through the Hogwarts courtyard, it's just a horrible mess of friends being beaten up, Death Eaters attacking, giants crushing things, Hogwarts being exploded, me ugly crying.... oh the horror. But maybe the most disturbing thing for me, something I was not expecting (and perpetually forgot about until it was right in my face each time I've rewatched) was the trio coming across Fenrir Greyback chewing on a dead Lavender Brown. Genuinely horrified me each time I saw the film. It was a small moment, but very impactful.

Which brings us to the moment I had been waiting for since I read this part when the book was released in 2007: the Snape Revelation. I had built up these next few scenes so much that there was no way on Earth they could have done them to my standards. I just knew I was going to be let down, so as Harry, Ron, and Hermione sneak up to the boat house and we see the dialogue between the Dark Lord and Snape unfold, I tried not to get my hopes up. But, it didn't matter. I could have never, in a million years, imagined the perfection that Yates and Alan Rickman could produce in the way they handled the end of Snape's story. I was completely blown away!

The way Snape was killed was shocking, even though I knew it was coming. There was something really frightening and sickening about not actually seeing it happening, but only hearing it through (and slightly seeing against) the glass of the window Harry was ducking underneath. In the trailer there is a glimpse of what looks like Snape being attacked by the snake. I think it was wise to leave that out of the finished product because it was much more significant the way it ended up.

Then, there's this moment, this beautiful moment, where the goodness in Harry won't allow him to let Snape, a man he hates, die alone. So he rushes in and comes to Snape's side and does what he can to stop the bleeding, and instead of a bitter or hateful expression, he sees a man with anguished tears streaming down his face. (I absolutely love that they changed the memories to tears! What an absolutely perfect personification of Snape's entire life! The memories that are his secret miserable lonely regrets are revealed in his TEARS! YATES I LOVE YOU.) Harry takes the memories into a flask and then we hear those words "Look at me," not a demand, a request (RICKMAN FOR ALL THE AWARDS). Then, the most beautiful addition to this scene, "You have your mother's eyes." With these words coming from this man, Harry looks as though he's hearing this comment for the first time. (Welp, I'm crying again.) THIS. SCENE. WAS. PERFECTION. From all sides. I couldn't have ask for more!


Immediately, we are thrown into another tragic moment (Fred being attacked by a Death Eater) that was completely lost on my first viewing because I was rendered so useless from the perfection of Snape's death scene that I ugly cried right through it. One of my friends had to tell me that we actually see Fred being disarmed. Then we see the Weasley family weeping over his body as the trio re-enters the castle. It's just awful! So heart-breaking, especially seeing George's face. Then the camera cuts to Lupin and Tonks, both pale and dead on the floor. It's bam! bam! bam! with these deaths and Yates gives us no time to recover from any of them, much like Rowling did in her books. Honestly, I felt like it kept with the tone of the book quite well and I appreciated why it was dealt with in this way. I know many people felt like Fred's death deserved more screen time, that it was just glossed over (heck, I nearly missed it the first time), but I actually don't have this complaint. It's war and there isn't time to pause the battle to savor a dramatic moment. That's one thing I really loved about Yates' Battle of Hogwarts.

The Pensieve scene hung looming, right around the corner. As it began, I held my breath. The children they cast as young Lily and Snape were perfect and the music during this part was astounding. As we meandered through Snape's most personal moments at school, I hungered for more. They had skipped some of my favorite scenes of the book from when he and Lily were at Hogwarts. It jumps from the Sorting Hat straight to when Severus was in his 20s and leaves out the awful memory about Sirius and James which I felt was important. But, because of how the memories kept sweeping from one thing to the other, I didn't have time to be very disappointed. During the scene where Dumbledore tells Severus that Lily has been killed, I couldn't believe how perfectly Alan Rickman played Snape. It was just what I wanted to see because that moment in the book is so heartbreaking. Also, the mixing in of sound bites from previous films to give the flashbacks context were brilliant. I really loved what I was seeing, but, still, something felt like it was missing and I didn't know what.

Then, the final part of the memory begins. If ever I had doubts about anything in this film, this scene completely erased them all. This is, arguably, the most important part of the entire series, where all the mysteries are revealed and we finally realize Snape's motivation for killing Dumbledore, the true depth of his love and selflessness, and what Harry will have to do in order to defeat the Dark Lord (all in one scene, overwhelming!). The music swells as Dumbledore reveals Harry's grim fate and the fan favorite "Always" moment occurs all while a scene of a younger Snape discovering Lily's body, cradling her, crying over her, is woven throughout. Flawlessly done! It was the perfect visual and emotional crescendo for this beautiful and tragic scene that so much of the story has depended on and still depends on. The image of Snape holding Lily was something I had never dreamed I'd see in the film, so when it happened I couldn't believe it. It was the most satisfied yet heartbroken I have ever been during a movie. That sequence is the best in the entire series, in my opinion. Absolutely perfect, even better than any standard I could have set for it myself.


Oh, but don't think you have any time to recover from this wave of emotions, either. There's not even enough time to wipe your eyes and (let's face it) your nose before the next heart-wrenching moment is all up in your face. Because as soon as Harry pulls his face from the Pensieve and the weight of everything he's just learned about his fate crashes down on him, he's in the arms of his two best friends and they are saying goodbye to him, forever. This scene isn't in the book because Harry goes to the Forbidden Forest alone and under his invisibility cloak, but I think it was important to show the trio's reaction to this news. The only thing I didn't like about this moment is a perpetual problem the entire film series has always had: making Ron secondary to Hermione. It always bothers me that Ron tends to take a backseat in the trio to Harry and Hermione's friendship because in the book all three are very close and Harry needs BOTH of them to survive. But in the grand scheme of things in this film, it's a small complaint for another post.

"The Forest Again" scene, at risk of sounding horrible redundant, was just beautiful and it seemed to be adapted word for word from the book! Daniel was so moving in this scene and delivered his lines with the best kind of vulnerability (my ugly crying continues). Then, there was another precious addition to this scene that took me by surprise. When Harry says "They won't be able to see you?" Sirius replies, "But we're here you see," and his mother adds, "Always." (I really feel that Yates ships Lily/Snape, too, as well as Neville/Luna!) Again, this is a change I never imagined, but when it happened I couldn't handle all my feelings. Just when I thought I couldn't get choked up any more than I already had, Harry marches into the forest to his death, and it cuts to Hagrid tied up to the trees, begging Harry to go back. (I'm surprised I didn't frighten people around me with my cries, though I was told that even though I was obviously distraught, I did a good job muffling/hiding it. So there's that.) Again, Daniel plays this part with palpable vulnerability, a boy who has come prepared to die for the ones he loves, and then he does.

The last stitch of hope I had held on to that they would visit some of Dumbledore's past was squashed when Harry woke up in King's Cross. Some of my favorite lines of the headmaster from the book were still in this scene, but the tone of the entire thing was all wrong. In the book Dumbledore explains everything to Harry in an apologetic, broken way, and Harry, for the first time in their relationship, comforts Dumbledore and reassures him. Harry wasn't unsure of what to do next in the book yet at the end of this part in movie his last words to Dumbledore are "Professor, what do I do?" What really upsets me about this is, in Dumbledore's last scene of the series, his character has officially NEVER been presented correctly on screen. It's such a shame, because he's such a wonderful, complex creation.  

Onto the final battle! Many people had some reservations about the way the final battle was handled. I think mostly because of the odd blocking they chose instead of how Rowling had it mapped out, but to that I say this: It's a movie about a war and they are going to sensationalize it. I feel making the final battle of an 8-movie series bigger, scarier, and bloodier is called for because we've waited for ten years to see this showdown. Yes, they prolonged the killing of the snake and drew out the physical and violent nature of Voldemort vs Harry because, if they hadn't, people would have then complained it was anti-climatic. Plus, all that epic stalling made Neville's shining moment that much more awesome. (Also, ZOMG MOLLY WEASLEY. That is all.)

In the end, the last few people Harry interacts with are Hagrid (whom he hugs in the Great Hall after Voldemort is finally dead), and Hermione and Ron. I desperately wanted Ron or Hermione to ask Harry about Snape or about the Pensieve so he would talk a little about him, maybe even mention that he's going to have a portrait of Severus hung in the Headmaster's office with the others. But that didn't happen. Instead, Harry explains about the Elder Wand to his friends and not to the Dark Lord in the heat of battle, which I think was a much more reasonable and believable choice than what happened in the book. Then, it blacks out on a shot of the trio holdings hands with a destroyed Hogwarts standing in the background (ouch, my heart).

Many people didn't like the epilogue in the books, and many more people didn't like the name Harry and Ginny give their youngest son, but I love both because it's so sentimental and meaningful. The Boy Who Lived who wanted nothing more than a regular life finally got to live one. I thought the movie portrayed this scene quite well. As our three heroes get their kiddos ready to board the Hogwarts Express, we get to see these beautiful characters we've watched grow on screen across the last decade act as parents. They are now sending their own little ones to the place that started it all for them and the magic is about to begin again. It's never over, it's just about to be experienced in a new way! Kind of like when you finish a book series and decide to start it over.

And then I never stopped crying, ever.

But seriously, the way I feel about this movie is almost indescribable. I've never really taken the Harry Potter movies very seriously as films before because the adaptations were never up to par with my expectations. I can say with this one, a film that blew my standards out of the water with what it achieved, I feel very different about it. I can't verbalize what it means to me to have a movie adaptation of a series finale that I approve of so triumphantly like this. It was everything I could have hoped for. All I can really say is I am so grateful to be in this generation where I got to catch the books being released and I got to wait for the movies to come out, and I got to share all of this with my best friends and my husband. I am just so thankful. It's something that will always be special to me and something I hope to experience in a new way with my kids someday!

Midnight Showing: Deathly Hallows pt 2

This is the week all Harry Potter fans have been waiting for. It's officially the end and my friends and myself have been preparing ourselves all week long. I reread the last part of the book (ending in tears and a serious Snape Character Analysis blog post) and watched all of the first six movies. Others of my friends told me they watched interviews, listened to soundtracks, and did a little pre-premiere crying. It was an emotional time for us all, because let's face it. Goodbyes suck. Especially when it's saying goodbye to something that, for so many, has been a major constant for over eleven years. Many HP fans have never imagined a life without Harry. It's hard to come to terms with something like this. That's why my group of friends wanted to do this last midnight showing up right! Behold the costumes and celebration!

Justin and I went as Snape and Lily. Yes... a walking spoiler. WHATEVER! :)

My best friends Mel, Rocky, and Ashlie. Rocky has a doe patronus on her shirt and it says "Always." Cue tears forever!

Melissa is our very own SlytherDor. Hah!

Here we have my Caty Gryffindor with her new hubby, Justin. I dressed him in those glasses and that tie.

Here we all are waiting in line. 2nd in line, in fact!

There were some Starkids there!

Me and my love, my love, my love.

In our seats! "What the devil is going on herrrrrrre?"

Meagan and her precious husband, Eric, made shirts. SO cute. Hers says "I heart HP" and his says "But I AM the chosen one." Love that quote!

 

Justin and I were so excited for the film to begin (we met because of Harry, after all)! We had great seats.

 THEN, the movie began and we all ugly-cried for a good two hours.

My tears washed the make-up off even my forehead. How does that happen? It was the most heartbroken I have ever been during a movie. It was beautiful, tragic, overwhelming, and wonderful. When we got home, the girls and I collapsed on the floor together. That's us, no make up left... especially me. Gross. 

I've never in my life boo-hooed during any movie ever like I did during the last Harry Potter. It was every thing I could have hoped for. And it was even better because I got to experience with all my best friends and my husband, who all understand just how important and wonderful the series really is. I love you all! And I love you, Harry. Review to come soon!

Character Break-Down: A Defense of Snape

Beautiful fanart

SPOILERS BELOW

It's taking me a long time to wrap my head around what exactly I want to say about Snape because I have so many feelings! I feel like he's one of the best characters ever, and I really adore him, but I know there are those people who still have reservations about him. So I have decided to dedicate a post to defend some of the things I've heard said against Snape since the end of The Deathly Hallows.

How you feel about Snape is usually based on whether or not you think he is a good person so it becomes an argument of action vs intent. One of the main complaints I've heard about Snape is that, even though he ended up willingly putting himself in danger on a daily basis in order to help save the world, in his core he is a selfish character. While I won't say that is wrong, I will have to say that I don't think that makes him a bad person and many things he did later on in his life out-weigh this flaw.
So overall it's stuff like this:

• He wanted Lily to be like him
• He was awful to Lily
• If he loved her then why did he hurt Lily's friends and her sister?
• He doesn't belong with Lily
• Snape is mean to Harry
• He takes out his hatred for James on Harry
• Snape is selfish

My issue with all of these things is that most of them don't take into consideration what has happened to Snape, how he was raised, and basically what his life was like. Not to make excuses for him, but let's just think about the evolution of Snape. He had a terrible home-life as a child. His parents fought all the time and his father was critical and hateful. He couldn't wait to get out of the house so he didn't have to be around them anymore (DH 667). This was a child that was not brought up being loved or tended to properly. He had shabby clothes, he wasn't well put together because his parents didn't give him the attention he needed. I think one of the most heart-breaking passages that Jo writes, in my opinion, is where she describes James in comparison to Snape:

"...slight, black-haired like Snape, but with that indefinable air of having been well-cared for, even adored, that Snape so conspicuously lacked" (DH 671).

This child didn't know what it felt like to be loved, and therefore never learned how to do it the right way. Did he love Lily selfishly, yes, but he didn't know any other way to do it. Not to mention, kids at this age and throughout high school are always selfish. I don't see that as being something to really hold against Snape's character to the end.

In fact, I don't think he even realized how flawed he was in love until he raced to Dumbledore to ask for him to protect Lily from Voldemort. When he revealed to DD that he asked Voldy to spare Lily when going after the child, DD said "You disgust me... they can die, as long as you have what you want?" (DH 677). I don't think Snape had ever thought of this before, that it's more important to let her have her happiness without him, than for him to have his happiness in expense of hers. It is here that I believe for the first time Snape understands true love and makes an active decision to be selfless towards Lily, aware that even if she survives he won't have her, but that's ok. Her life and happiness is more important. "Hide them all, then... keep her -them- safe. Please" (DH 678).

Some will argue that Harry had the same loveless upbringing and he didn't turn out like Snape. However, Harry inheritted thousands of galleons and when he came into the wizarding world he was well-known and popular at school and made friends easily. Plus he had the Weasleys and a ton of other mentors that took him and loved him, took an interest in him, and guided him (not saying Harry would have turned out badly without them but he did have them). I am not saying Harry’s life was easy; we all know is sucked, but Snape didn’t have any of these things. He was poor, he remained poor, and unloved. He was not popular and hardly anyone liked him. Not to mention, Harry had abilities that allowed him to join sports while Snape didn’t, which again, helped Harry gain popularity where it did not help Snape. Honestly, you can’t pretend Harry and Snape’s paths were exactly alike. They were not. (In the end, I would say the reason Harry turned out so well was because he is so much Lily. Lily always seemed to know right from wrong and followed it as best she could.)

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So let's travel back to Snape's school days. Did he hope that Lily would end up in Slytherin? Yes, of course he did. But I think his desperation and intensity towards her came from fear of losing her to the Marauders, to his arch enemies, and not really from the houses that separated them. Also, I think it's unfair to say that Snape actively chose evil as a student. First of all, he was much too young to have truly formed a complete view of politics and ideologies. From his experience and his perception of the hateful world around him he felt his friends in Slytherin were the right way to go. He was bullied by the so-called "brave and courageous" Gryffindors, who ganged up on him over and over. To him, they were the bad guys. Children who are bullied usually fall in with the wrong crowd because they seek acceptance, and in Snape's group of friends he felt accepted, he felt like a part of something, and finally he didn't feel helpless. What his friends did to others was certainly no worse than what the Marauders did to him, in his eyes. And didn't Lily hang around the Marauders (stated as Snape would have reasoned)?  He wasn't choosing evil, he was choosing what he felt was anti-all the things that brought him pain.

(And can we just take one second and remember that Dumbledore made really stupid plans when he was a young kid, almost exactly like Snape, but then made a complete 180? I don't usually understand how the same people who rake Snape across the coals for this part of his life can praise Dumbledore like these two characters didn't share this motif in their youth.)

If he wanted to persuade Lily that his side was the right side, that it was at least no worse than what her fellow Gryffindors did to him on the daily, I see no fault in that. The error in judgment of choosing his friends was obviously in his naivety and bitterness and thirst for acceptance. It was not that this was just a bad kid. Plus, what's wrong with him trying to get Lily to see his side, when she also tried to change his perception to her own? They're really doing the same thing, the difference is just that we know how it turns out, that Snape was on the wrong side at first.
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The true issue I think people have is when Snape uses phrases like "I won't let you-" when speaking to Lily. This controlling, desperate side of Snape emerges when he feels most threatened to lose her. The characters that make him feel the most like that are Petunia, Sirius, and James which is why he lashes out at them (not to mention they all treat him like excrement). When Petunia is taunting Snape and a branch falls on her (DH 668), I don't think he meant to do it to her. I think, like Harry at that young age, he couldn't contain his anger. Just like later on, after years of enduring James and Sirius, he lashes out in the middle of them TORTURING HIM and causes the breaking point in his and Lily's relationship (OotP 643-648).

We all know he wishes he could take that moment back, and yet it happened because he couldn't contain all the pain, embarrassment, and anger. (Just a side note, I just re-read "Snape's Worst Memory" and it is 100 times worse than I remember it. James and Sirius must have used 7 hexes against him, including one that had him choking on soap. And he didn't even have his wand! Just AWFUL.) I think that moment is Snape's worst memory because he allowed the people he hated most, the people he worried would take Lily from him, to bait him into ending his relationship with her himself. I also think this is where most of his self-loathing comes from. I do not think these things mean he was awful to Lily as much as he was just misunderstood and completely misplaced his anger.
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Which leads us to the argument that "Snape does not belong with Lily." Do I think they should have ended up together? Well if they had, Harry Potter would never have existed. So there's a hard NO right there. Do I wish there was a way? In my heart of hearts, yes, because I wish Snape could have been happy. I mean he deserves it; he had such a miserable life. But seriously, my argument is not about me thinking they should end up together, because I don't. I do, however, think there was much more of a chance of it happening than many realize.

One of the justifications of James' hatred for Severus is that Severus was into the Dark Arts, claiming their relationship mirrored the relationship between Harry and Malfoy. This is just a crap argument because we see first hand in the Pensieve, in book 5, James' and Sirius' atrocious actions (And it wasn't a biased interpretation of that scene. It was exactly what happened. The pensieve doesn't show biased perceptions. It shows exactly what happened, which is why it's so reliable and why DD uses it. And if it had been tampered with, we'd notice because it would be warped like Slughorn's memory in book 6). Harry never would grab Ron and seek out Malfoy to bully and humiliate him in front of an entire group of people. In fact, it's absolutely the other way around, making Snape the Harry figure in this scenario. The only times Harry and Ron ever seek out Malfoy are times when they wanted to confront him on something they believed he had done wrong, not for a sick ego trip. So, no, the Dark Arts were NOT why James and Sirius went after Snape, time after time.

"How come she married him?" Harry asked miserably. "She hated him!"
"Nah, she didn't," said Sirius.
"She started going out with him in seventh year," said Lupin.
"Once James had deflated his head a bit," said Sirius.
"And stopped hexing people just for the fun of it," said Lupin.
"Even Snape?" said Harry.
"Well," said Lupin slowly, "Snape was a special case for James" (Ootp 591).

James picked out Snape, not just because James was an egotistical prick, but also because James Potter felt threatened by Severus Snape. Severus was a very close friend with Lily, the girl James fancied. He wanted to make Severus look weak and stupid in comparison to himself, so he humiliated him and cut him down, hexed him and tried to show him up. There are moments in "The Prince's Tale" that I am sure I can breathe more relevance into than actually exists there when it comes to finding textual evidence to support Lily having feelings for Snape (such as "The intensity of his gaze made her blush" [DH 674]), but nothing makes me feel there was something between Lily and Snape more than this fact: James was afraid there was something there. 
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And so their rivalry continued. Snape could never shake the hatred for the person that not only treated him worse than garbage but also stole the love of his life from him. And honestly, if someone treated me like James treated Snape, I would hate them forever, too. There would be no way I would ever be able to see through what James had done to me and understand that he may have grown up, changed, and was no longer the person who choked me with subs and hung me upside down with my underwear exposed. I would never be able to not associate him with the pain and anger of losing the one person on Earth I ever really loved. This was Snape's reality.

Therefore, when a newly spawned version of James walks into Hogwarts, it's no surprise that Snape reacts negatively towards him. Harry looks just like Snape's old nemesis, and he does break the rules like James, leading Snape to believe he is just like his father. And of course, Snape projects a lot of his own anger onto Harry. It's not fair of him to do that, but Harry doesn't usually make it easier on Snape, either. Yet despite their differences Snape continuously protects Harry. He was bitter and destroyed; Harry was like all his regrets, his mistakes, and the memory of the woman he lost to his greatest enemy personified. There was so much conflict within Snape every time he interacted with Harry, and yet he risked his life every single day to keep doing it.
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The argument I will never understand is the one that state's Snape is selfish because he only helped Harry because he loved Lily, that it wasn't a sacrifice because he did it for selfish reasons (seriously wtf). Maybe I could understand this logic if he only did it so he could get back with Lily, but Lily is DEAD. There is no pay off for Snape. NONE. Not even the knowledge that one day everyone will know what a great sacrifice he made when it's all said and done, because the only man who KNEW he was a double agent, putting his life on the line every day, had to be killed. BY HIM (which can we take a moment and talk about what an enormously loyal person you would have to be to agree to kill your friend at their request? I mean COME ON).

There was no pay off. So someone explain to me how that makes Snape a selfish being in what he actively chose to do everyday for Harry and for the fight against Voldemort. Did he always do it with a cheery smile on his face? No, but I think we've established through what I've written that it was never in the cards for Snape to be a happy, cheerful, or loving teacher. He did what he had to do fiercely and methodically, every day suffering through the pain and regret Harry and Voldemort reminded him of. He wasn't always the nicest person, but no where does it say you have to be a ball of sunshine to also be a sacrificial and selfless person.
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Which brings me to my final theory and thought. Throughout six books Snape and Harry are thrown together and have to deal with each other nearly every day. Snape sees Harry as James constantly. However, I believe in the 7th book (this is after the fan-favorite "Always" moment), having not seen Harry in the halls of Hogwarts every day, getting some space from the constant reminder of James, and only hearing about Harry's actions through Phineas Nigellus, Snape begins to realize that Harry is more like Lily. I believe in that last year of being away from him, he softens towards Harry. Does he grow to love him, I don't know. I don't think so. But I really think Snape forms some positive feelings for Harry. Since Snape has such a low opinion of James, for him to believe Harry will do what he has to do (knowing full well that Harry will be told to sacrifice himself), Snape has to believe Harry has more of his mother in him than of his father, in the end. Snape is bitter, wounded, and stubborn, but when he got the distance he needed from Harry to see the good things about him, I think Snape did.

I don't know if I achieved what I wanted to achieve with this post, turning any Snape haters out there to Snape lovers, but hopefully I made it easier to understand and sympathize with his character. Either way, I think this is at least true about my entry:

Live Blog: True Blood Premiere Season 4

I've been waiting for a year to see what craziness will happen next. In about 30 minutes, it will begin again! Let's do this!

Mmmm delicious.

8:00 - IT'S HERE! WOA! Oh goodness... we're in fairy land. It's horribly cheesy here... they're eating fruit with light coming out of it. Does anyone else feel it's ridiculously cheesy there? My

8:06 - Godmother? Like... for real?

8:08 - Well, I hope this gets much, much better. Godmothers and glowing fruit are not tough enough for the True Blood I fell in love with. 

8:10 - TIME FOR MY FAVORITE INTRO.

8:13 - BAhhaah Sookie... they are ALL mind-readers. That was a TERRIBLE plan. OMG QUEEN MAAB? This is almost as annoying as Cassandra Clare's latest Mortal Instruments book.

8:15 - Wow... no they are running through Fairy Land. And the fairies are shooting electricity balls at them. WHY IS IS ALL SO CHEESY? This is kind of awful. Am I alone??

8:16 - Bahahah Sookie is back and she woke both Eric and Bill up. They love her. It's time for Eric and Sookie to get it on this season. Also, granddaddy is dying. Duh.
 
8:18 - Oh goodness... how long was Sookie gone?!

8:20 - JASON IS A POLICE OFFICER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And he looks might fine. Like usual.

8:23 - Awe Bill is back and is happy Sookie is back. This is special. He does love her. He was good. OMG THERE'S ERIC. Bahahaha they are fighting over her. Also Eric should win. 

8:25 - Wow, Andy is still crazy as ever. He needs to stop being a police officer. Bill and Sookie are still angsty, but apparently not angsty enough for Sookie. She is not happy that Bill has moved on enough not to fight her when she tells him to leave. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT, BOO?

8:27 - LAFAYETTE! He's so fabulous with his vest and mohawk. Here's a witch circle where Aunt Petunia from Harry Potter, THE SQUIB, is a witch. HAH!

8:30 - Awe Eddie!! I loved that story from the first season... Petunia you are one scary character. Not ok... NOT OK. CREEPFEST!!

 8:32 - Omg all the Barbies in pieces and the first thing I thought of was Dexter. Bahaha that baby is evil.

8:33 - OMG TARA KICKS ASS!!!!!! She's a cage fighter!!!!!! YOU COULD NOT BE COOLER.

8:35 - NO my favorite couple hates each other! Jessica and Hoyt! STOP IT! That crazy baby doll from the end of last season is making them MEAN. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... 

8:37 - "People are far dumber than they realize."

8:38 - What... the... who is .... what is Bill doing? He's a politician?!?! AND HE'S DATING THE TRINITY'S (Dexter) DAUGHTER?!?!?!?

8:40 - Tara is my new hero. I love her being a cage fighter. And now she's a lesbian. With her cage fighter opponent.Oh and that's not her name!

8:41 - Sam is still running Merlott's. And he's still whiny. What about how he seemingly shot his brother at the end of last season?

8:44 - Andy is on CRACK. WTF is wrong with him? Jason is actually in charge and... like... having to do damage control for someone else for a change. UGH... OMG... I hate Hoyt's mother. I HATE HER... and WTF why is Sam's little brother with her? Oh this is... uncool. And weird.

8:48 - Wow, took about 45 minutes to see some nakedness.This may be a record for True Blood.

8:50 - Um... is this girl evil? I think she is. And she is after Bill so Sookie automatically hates her.

8:52 - Pam... what are you doing? You are so bad. And I love you.

8:53 - Ugh, Sam I don't care about you and your whiny problems. I... don't... care. Even in your club where you all turn into horses and frolic.

8:56 - Poor Jason... your life seems to kind of suck.AND OMG THE INBREDS ATTACKED HIM.

8:57 - I am not a fan of Petunia. She is CREEPY as HECK. And she is trying to bring her bird back to life. Also, Lafayette is HARD CORE wearing a Thriller jacket.

8:58 - So ... did Bill kill the Queen and that's how he became King of Louisiana? We must revisit this. Naked Sookie is happening also... and ERIC IS THERE! TIME TO GET IT ON!

9:00 - BAHAHA ERIC BOUGHT SOOKIE'S HOUSE. I LOVE IT. Sookie officially belongs to Eric and I AM ALL ABOUT IT. MAKE OUT! 

9:01 - YAY a full hour! That was good. Now for previews for net week! Woa! Lots of weird stuff coming up! GODRIC!!!!!! Also... is Jason going to turn into a panther?

Movie Review: Last Night

I was so excited to see that this movie was on pay per view. It's coming to the Dallas Angelika in 2 weeks, but I just couldn't wait. I had to watch it as soon as I had a spare moment, which just happened to be tonight. I have been waiting to see this movie for about a year and a half. The release was delayed a few times because of the problems Miramax was having, but thankfully, it finally made its way to me! Keira in a modern time period? I hardly knew what to do with myself! Unfortunately, I am unable to write a review about a Keira movie without spoilers.

This movie begins at a fast pace, showing the dynamics of characters and background of couple. Immediately you can see the chemistry between the two leads and how comfortable they are in their relationship. They've been together for a while, even though they are still newlyweds (married for 3 years). Keira (Joanna) was completely lovable and genuine in her role, and surprisingly, Sam Worthington (Michael) was even tolerable. (This is a big deal because I have pretty much despised him in everything else I've ever seen him in.)

Eva Mendez's Laura is hard to connect with because she is presented in a way that makes you dislike her on principle, but eventually I did end up feeling for her. The only character I never really connected with was Guillaume Canet's Alex. It's hard to say why, but it could have had to do with the fact that the whole time I kept expecting him to speak with an Irish accent but he was most certainly French. It never ceased to throw me off, and that's just my own stupidity. But also, I found his character to be the only one who never became more self-aware nor did I feel that his intentions were ever anything but selfish.

The story takes place as a side by side as Joanna's husband goes on a business trip. The actions of one spouse mirror the actions of the other, both in similar situations, just in different parts of the country. (The film cleverly does a few camera tricks with mirrors to drive home this motif.) Both spouses deal with equal temptations at the same time. Neither are really the bad (or should I say worse) guy because they are both doing things that they know are wrong or shady, both feeling guilty, and having to decided moment by moment what to do in their own specific temptation. When asked by Laura if he is happy in his marriage, Michael replies, "You can be happy and still be tempted."

The stance this film takes on cheating is that a person can't always be blamed for being attracted to another or having feelings for another. The true betrayal is subjecting your loved-one to the knowledge or the image of your desires for another. Joanna mentions a few times that Michael should have "spared" her from seeing his attraction to Laura. She wasn't upset that he was attracted to her, she was just mad that he didn't try to hide it better. She retorts, "I would've spared you." This is a kindness to be dealt your partner, in her eyes. Later, even Laura mentions the things she could never get our of her mind, when she was cheated on, were pictures she saw on a computer. Not the infidelity itself. "I could have done without the visuals." The images of cheating are more hurtful than the actions. If you have to see it, it's more of a betrayal, in this story.

As well as speaking with candor like this, the two main characters were also very self aware. They know themselves well enough to verbalize things many others wouldn't be able to. Joanna is very honest with Alex when he begins to ask about why they never have worked out. She says, "I don't know that this would be what it is on its own." She loves Alex because she idealizes him and she likes it better that way. What's rare here is she knows that's why she loves him. She won't allow more to happen because he'll become too real and the ideal will end. For a person to step out of their own head and admit this to themselves is very rare. This made her such an interesting character.

The entire movie is building up to the part where both our lovers make a decision about what to do in their temptation, creating a turning point on either front. The voice overs from one scene laid across the others' bring the actions together, even though they are geographically far apart. It links them seamlessly and makes them feel like they are happening in the same room. It's very affective and cleverly done.

In the end, the degree of betrayal on either side will have to be judged by each individual viewer. Michael has a physical affair, Joanna has an emotional affair. Which is worse? No matter what you decide, I think the film is really asking this: Is it better to know or not know when you have been betrayed in a relationship? Is it selfish to admit to it, subjecting your lover to this horrible news to clear your own conscience, or is it noble, being honest to try to work it out? And in all that goes into a marriage, how would you define betrayal?

New to The Island: Lost seasons 1-3

I'm a LOST newbie, to say the least. I began my journey to the island about a week and a half ago. However, in that time I've made it through 3 whole seasons (that's 72 episode). It's quite an understatement to say that I have the potential to be slightly obsessive, obviously. Here is a newbie's perspective half-way through. 

FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
I've been told by close friends for years to watch LOST, but I never did because I didn't want to give into the hype. Plus, I was so far behind, I knew there was no way to catch up and it would be pointless to do so if I was just going to have to sit and wait around for season 6 to end and come to DVD. So I put it off and I wasn't interested. Why I never watched to begin with is still a mystery to me, as one of my favorite people on earth is a part of it, Dominic Monaghan. The love I have for the Lord of the Rings cast runs deep, and yet, I just skipped LOST. It's inexcusable, to be completely honest. I was thankful to my friends at my job and elsewhere who kept on me about it till I gave in. It was a glorious morning when Kristy brought me a stack of the first 4 seasons on DVD to keep me busy all spring break!

Going in, I didn't know what to expect. The warnings I got were things like: "It gets outrageous, but you have to keep going!" "Yeah, season 1 is good... but then..." "There are things that never get explained, but you just have to overlook that!" etc, etc. It seemed I was taking a big risk in getting attached only to either be disappointed or confused. But as I got into the first season, none of that really mattered anymore. Whether or not I get answers about the polar bears, what the thing was that sounded like a Tyrannosaurus Rex, how does Kate's hair curl so beautifully without hair gel, what is the island, where is the island, omg the island... doesn't really matter to me. It was clear from very early on that this show is not centered around answers, but characters. I care about these people so much that I care more about what happens to them, than understanding it all (if that makes sense). I don't need answer, necessarily (though they are welcome), I need my characters to be taken care of.

I am not the kind of girl who enjoys camping or doing many things in the wilderness. I mean, that might even be an understatement. However, watching this show, I found myself feeling like I wanted to be on the island. Yes, with "the others", the smoke monster, and all the crazy dart traps set up by Rousso, because I would then be with these awesome people, too. The community and bond these characters establish on this island, even though it's a terrible situation to be in, makes all that ok. Makes it seem worth it. Makes a city girl in heels, like me, want to join them on a beach with no showers and no toilets. They may go into the jungle or out to sea trying to find a way to get off the island, but when they return to the beach it's like a homecoming party. Hugging, clapping, joy, music swelling. It's beautiful. These characters and their relationships with one another drive this series.(Sidenote: If I were on the island, I would have totally stayed at the beach, I think. I wouldn't have moved to the caves.)



FAVORITE CHARACTERS:
I went in with very little knowledge of any characters, except Charlie. In fact, I knew so little about who was part of the show I kept thinking Sawyer was going to have an Australian accent. That was dead wrong. I went in knowing that Charlie would be my favorite, just because I can't help but love Dom. What I did not know if how much I would love so many others. It was surprising how invested I got so quickly!

Sun and Jin (My favorite Sawyer nickname for them had to be when he called her "Sunshine." So precious! For Jin... I think he called him "Mr. Miyagi". Is that racially insensitive?)

Theirs is one of my favorite story lines, and I also just really love what they bring to the group. Perhaps one of my favorite moments was when Charlie, Desmond, Hurley, and Jin were having to camp in the jungle and they were telling campfire stories. Jin telling a campfire story completely in Korean while everyone pretended to understand and then be scared when he finished was ... just... SO adorable. I think it was especially hilarious because Jin is serious most of the time.

Hurley (My favorite Sawyer nickname for him was when he was sitting with Charlie and Aaron. Sawyer said "Well if it ain't 3 men and a baby!" He's so mean... but I have to admit I laughed.)

How could anyone NOT love Hurley? He brings much needed positivity and comic relief to the island, but even so, he's not just some fluff character. So many things that surround Hurley's story are outrageous, that even in their tragedy, they are a little silly. The best part about it, though, is how Hurley tends to handle them. He's such a big teddy bear, you never want to see anything bad happen to him, so when he loses the girl he cares about, it was definitely one of the sweetest and saddest Hurley moments, for me.

Jack (One time, Sawyer called him "Dr. Quinn" and I almost spit out my drink.)



I really love Jack. He just makes my heart hurt. I feel like he's always swimming against a current, trying to do all things all at once and not allowing anyone to help him. I made a comment before that he just needs to be hugged, and I mean that in the most literal way. He needs to be comforted, he needs to allow someone else to take care of him, he needs to let some of the stuff he thinks he can carry go, because it's going to break him. Everyone looks to him to fix everything, he is the only one who can do medical things (for the most part), the girl he loves is kind of selfish and keeps switching between him and a guy he kind of love/hates, and he's only one person! He needs a vacation, hard core. I want to bring him a scotch and let him relax while someone else takes care of all the crap.

Sawyer (I can't believe how unfair it is that Sawyer doesn't get a nickname just because he is the nicknamer ... mind blown.) 

Sawyer is exactly the kind of character I tend to always be drawn to. He's a hard ass on the outside, but a sweet heart on the inside. He spits and cusses and he was an awesome angry look, but when you get him settled down, hand him a beer, and ruffle is hair a bit, he shows just what a softy he can be. A Byronic hero to the core. My favorite moments with Sawyer are all flashes of what a precious person he is, deep down. Specifically when he was giving Kate a hard time about her asking for something until she said it was for the Aaron, the baby. Then his eyebrows turned up and he was all: "Here take this! I can help" while digging through his stash. Or how about when he revealed what a love puppy he is when he actually made Kate a "mix tape". Sawyer, your sensitive is showing.

Charlie (Sawyer's nicknames for him weren't my favorite, but he did call him "Jiminy Cricket". That was cute. Once he called him "Munchkin" and I so badly wanted him to refer to him as a "hobbit." I guess that would have been redundant.)


I absolutely LOVED Charlie. But of all the characters, I think Charlie hurt me the most over and over again. I really badly wanted him and Claire to be together, but for so long Charlie kept making decisions that would prevent that from happening. Watching him struggle with his addiction was just awful, and the fact that he kept going back to it made it worse. As much as I love him, there was a point where I went "How can he and Claire EVER recover from this?!" But when season 3 rolled around, Charlie's character started balancing out and eventually he was one of the biggest heroes on the island.

I knew coming in he'd be my favorite, I also knew coming in he would die. That didn't make it any easier to watch, nor did it make it any less sad when it happened. The episode about Charlie's "Greatest Hits" was just wonderful. I was on the verge of crying as Charlie dived down, but it wasn't until they showed a simple shot of one of his shoes coming off that I really cried. Then I was just a hot mess. And of course, when his death actually happens, I don't think it could have been done in a better way, with the music swelling, and his message that will truly save the rest of the island. If it HAD to happen, I'm glad that it happened like that.


HONORABLE MENTIONS:
As for the rest of the cast, I really love Sayid (whom Sawyer called "The Red Beret" at once point), and Ecko (who Sawyer called "Shaft" BAHAHA). I was really sad when Ecko died. I felt he had a lot more to give. I even like John Locke, who has seemed to have lost his marbles in the last few episodes. I am holding out hope he will come back around eventually.

I HATE Ben Linus. I have been told he's just mislead, but OH MY GOD I cannot stand him and I want him to die, hard core. I guess I will see eventually if he does redeem himself and turn around so that I can eat my words, but as of right now... just... no. (Sawyer called him "George" like from Of Mice and Men. I LOVED that.)

I like Kate. I haven't really mentioned her but to describe other characters, but I do like her. She is going to have to stop jumping from Jack to Sawyer whenever she is feeling vulnerable, because that is getting LAME, but we'll see. She's beautiful, to say the least. I also like Juliet. I think she is really trying to help and I believe she will turn out good. I hope she and Jack get it on and are in love and Jack finds happiness there so that he won't be heartbroken over Kate for much longer.

Also, if I had to pick a favorite character that wasn't on the island but just in the flashbacks, I'd either say Desmond's first fiance, the red-headed one who just tells him the heck off. Loved it. OR the lady that has her husband capture Sayid because he tortured her once. Her story about the cat and the firecrackers still upsets me. Great story line. 

Random Sawyer nickname mention: I LOVED when he called Alex (Rousso's daughter) "Sally Sling Shot." WINNER!

THEORIES
I'm afraid that this section of my post will leave a lot of be desired. Since I went in knowing a lot wouldn't be explained, I haven't really tried to guess what a lot of things are. However, I do have some ideas, so I will just touch on those.

Not sure, at this point what to make of the Sawyer/Kate/Jack love triangle. On the island it looks like Kate is jilted by Jack now who likes Juliet, even though Jack was just jilted by Kate, and therefore now Kate is jilting Sawyer... But in the future flash, where Jack has a crazy castaway beard worse than anything he had on the actual island, Kate is obviously with someone else and Jack is alone. She just refers to that person she is with as "he" and never specifies who it is. But where the story seems to be going, is that there will be duel time lines, and so it could very well be that Kate could be with both of them... simultaneously... across the space/time continuum. Am I reading a comic book right now? WTF. So I guess... I will just have to watch and see because it could go ANYWHERE.

If I was going to just comment on who I think is better for Kate, Sawyer would be my answer. She obviously wants the hell out of him, and they are very much alike. Not to mention... OMG does Sawyer love her. It's ridiculous. Some of the most powerful acting has been in the weird cages "The Others" keep Sawyer and Kate in. When that one guy forces to Kate to admit she loves Sawyer by beating the crap out of him... I got goosebumps. Also when she is trying to get him to escape with her and he won't go, great stuff! I think Sawyer and Kate have the chemistry to make a good love story.


Also what Charlie did to get them off the island killed him, so Jack standing there at the end of that episode crying about wishing he had never been rescued  REALLY PISSES ME OFF. I've been told that Jack is right and that eventually I will understand... but OH MY GOD let's just cry all over Charlie's beautiful sacrifice. UGH.

As for how things will turn out with the mysteries, this show finds ways to go so completely the opposite way than what is expected, so I don't know if I can really guess or even follow clues to what will happen. I have a feelings that if they shouldn't have been rescued eventually they will want to try to go back. (As Jack shouts over and over at the end of Season 3). I also think that the title "LOST" may not have anything to do with the fact that they are castaways on an island. Not one person on the island has a story that doesn't show them to be just lost in general, if you want to go that route.

Short term, I just want to see what happens when Desmond returns and let's everyone know Charlie sacrificed himself for them to be rescued. I want them to appreciate him and celebrate him and mourn him.

Long term, I just want the ending to be beautiful, and fitting, and make my cry. I've been told that it will achieve all of these things. The only thing is I don't know how to watch this show without Charlie, so it will be another new experience going into 4, 5, and 6.

Wish me luck! On I go!