Movie Review: Eclipse

Now before anyone reads this who doesn't know me well, it may be a good idea to skim my entry that explain my feelings about the Twilight series, as to not make any ...er, snap judgments about my taste in films

• Meyer FAIL: Why Twilight isn't good literature

AS A FILM

For some reason, beginning the Eclipse review has been a challenge for me. With other reviews of movies I've anticipated, I've had SO MUCH to say, that it was hard to start because I had to organize and sift through all my thoughts. But with this one, I don't know WHAT to say. This isn't really a bad thing because I really liked Eclipse, a lot. I guess I haven't landed on my exact opinion just yet.


When I go see a Twilight Saga film, I usually step into it with my 'Twilight goggles' on. It's hard for me to separate my experience as a fan of the series from my experience as a movie lover... so my reviews are always very biased. I love Jacob and Edward, I love the Cullens, I love most all of the side characters... so seeing them all in a movie interacting together brings me joy that has NOTHING to do with whether or not the film, itself, is good. That's why it's taken me 3 viewings to really absorb it as an adaptation of a book I've read, and as just a movie in general.

My verdict is that it is a very good film. Not just by Twilight standards (because by Twilight standards it is like a masterpiece of cinema), but by regular film standards, I would say that even someone who isn't really interested in it could go in and enjoy it as a movie, as long as they don't come in with preconceived prejudices against the film to begin with. It's entertaining, it's well edited, well acted, well directed, had a great soundtrack and beautiful score, and keeps a pretty steady flow. There were only a few moments I thought... "Hmf, that was slightly cheesy," while in the other Twilight films it seemed to happen every 5 minutes. Even with Stephenie Meyer's writing as the reference for the script, the movie was nicely written. Wow... that was hard for me to say. Haha.

Which brings me to the part where I talk about how the film correlates to the book and what the fan in me really thought about it, officially ending the part of the review that is based completely on the quality of the film. The rest of this review is full of spoilers and specifics from the book, so look away if you aren't ok with that!

FAN TALK

I went into this movie thinking it was going to be absolutely terrible. The trailers were all SO boring, and every line that was delivered sounded like the actors themselves were bored. I didn't know how the movie would go, but I didn't think it would go well. After I saw it, however, I obviously was pleasantly surprised! Then, I got SO many questions from so many people about what I thought about the movie and was it the best one... was it my favorite one... etc. I didn't really know what to say. It's obviously the BEST film of the 3. Twilight is almost laughable in the shadow of this one, and New Moon's flaws are much more apparent compared to Eclipse, also. However, that doesn't mean that Eclipse is my favorite of the 3. As many of you will know, Jacob is my favorite character and so for me, Eclipse was really painful for me to watch, and the Jake I love, the real Jake, exists mostly in New Moon. New Moon was my favorite of the books and so, therefore, the film version of New Moon may continue to be my favorite of the movies. I've yet to really decide as it's still early... but I know New Moon means more to me, even though Eclipse is great.

Having said that, it may be a true testament to just how great the film of Eclipse was! The book was my least favorite, besides Breaking Dawn, because Bella's inner monologue is UNBEARABLE. She's AWFUL in that book, and just gets more whiny and more selfish with each turn of the page. However, in the movie, Kristin Stewart is MUCH more likable than Bella from the books. She softer, she's cooler, she is more composed and reasonable, AND even though she does do some pretty ridiculously selfish things in the movie (she has no choice as that is what Bella is), in the end Kristin is able to leave us feeling ok about her as a character, something almost impossible to do when reading the books. This movie, in my opinion, was MUCH better than the book in many ways, and Bella was one of the main reasons.


I LOVED the new looks for the Cullens. In the other two films it was obvious that they had trouble figuring out just how each Cullen should look... and some of them looked laughable most of the time. However, in this one, it was like this director said 'Screw whatever the heck kind of stupid thing they did you before, we're starting from scratch and making you all awesome!' Everyone looked better, but the BIGGEST improvements were Jasper and Rosalie. They FINALLY found a wig and a make-up regime for Nikki Reed that made her look like the character was supposed to, plus, it looked natural on her. (As natural as she can look as a vampire.) And Jackson Rathbone, BLESS his little heart, has always had the WORST freaking hair in the history of all movies, ever. But in THIS one... he gets a better wig... for part of the time. I mean that's a big step up. Part of the time it's this weird... fluffy thing that looks like he's curled his hair... and no guy would do that... BUT in SOME scenes, the BEST Jasper scenes, he has awesome wavy hair that looks like he just got rained on and it dried that way... all delicious and messy. And it WORKED! FINALLY!

Along with the great make-overs, the Cullens actually get a few spotlight moments. I was SO happy to see Rosalie's story included in the film, as I was absolutely sure that it would be cut for time or relevance. And Jasper got to tell his story, all the while sporting the GOOD wig, and looking just dashing. And it seemed, that they made it a priority to show that Bella isn't just bonded to Edward, but to all the Cullens and she interacts with every single one individually at one time. Except for maybe Esme, who had almost no screen time at all. Needless to say, this movie was Cullentastic, for all you Cullen lovers.

CHEMISTRY x 100! I just have to really make a big deal about the fact that, for the first time ever, I felt like Edward and Bella's chemistry was spot on! For whatever reason, the last two directors didn't really know how to or care to make Bella and Edward seem like a believable couple, but in this one, I bought it immediately! Robert and K-Stew did a great job selling it. They were affectionate, but not confusingly angsty. They kissed and touched and it was tender and special. It's what a happy couple looks like! AND Robert played Edward SO much better than before, as well. He actually SMILED, believe it or not, and he made jokes and was charming without looking like he wanted to die or cry the whole time. Not to mention... he didn't look zombie-like... or as though he was wearing some sort of wardrobe they found in an 80-year-old's closet. He looked fresh, young, and BEAUTIFUL. There wasn't a frame during the entire movie where I didn't think Robert was breath taking, and that's so great! Edward is supposed to be that way. The only time he seemed moody is when his eyes were black and he was very hungry, which MADE SENSE! So overall, YAY RPattz and K-Stew. They did GREAT.


As ALWAYS the side characters are PRECIOUS. Sometimes I wish they could make a mini-script for the supporting cast and have a little movie all about Mike, Jessica, Eric, Charlie, and Angela. They are just SO AWESOME.

I know a lot of people were weirded out that Rachel Lafeve had to be replaced, but I was psyched from the start. I love Bryce Dallas Howard, and I knew she'd bring it in the film, and in my opinion, she did. She was good at being manipulative, cowardly, and fierce all at once. I loved her interpretation of the character. Also, I enjoyed Xavier as Riley. I didn't really care about Riley in the book, but in the film, I really enjoyed his scenes. He was great at delivering his lines and he brought an intensity I didn't expect. From the very opening scene, where he's cornered and attacked, you feel for this kid and continue to care, even when he's seemingly evil. I think they did a great job casting him. Also, all of the action scenes were very good. Good graphics, good editing, good choreography.

UH! BREAK MY HEART

Many of you Twilight fans will have noticed by now that I haven't mentioned Jake hardly at all so far in this review, and you may be wondering why as it is true that I am a Team Jacob member. The reason why is because all the reasons I have a hard time with this movie have to do with Jacob. I absolutely LOVE his character and even though I know how things end for him, it was still really hard to watch. That's not to say that I didn't think the movie was GREAT in presenting the story, because it absolutely was, it's still just hard to see Jake's pain physically and emotionally throughout the entire movie. I was excited about the movie until I realized... crap... my shiny little Jacob is not going to be in this movie. We're only going to get bitter-Jake or heartbroken-Jake. And that's what we got.


I LOVED so much of what Taylor Lautner did with Jacob in this movie. So many one-liners, the smart-ass responses, and this really beautiful stare he's acquired. REALLY enjoyed it. But he's also really good at playing Jacob's pain, and I hate seeing Jacob's pain. I guess when reading Eclipse I always continued to imagine Jake as the sweet happy and undamaged boy from New Moon, but you can't change what you see right in front of you. And what I saw in Eclipse made me sad. Each time I've walked out of the theater at the end, I've felt depressed. And what's so hard is that EVERY OTHER PART of the movie is upbeat and happy. Even the soundtrack. And yet everything surrounding my favorite character is heartache.

The only thing I was really unhappy about is there was no epilogue... every other Twilight film got one, but not this one, and I feel this one really needed it for all the Jake fans. There may be more Edward fans out there, but we Team Jacobs are a nice percentage of the general audience, too, and the last time we see our man, he's LITERALLY broken to pieces AND completely heartbroken. He's in terrible physical and emotional pain all at once, and he's destroyed. And then we never see him again? NOT COOL. I wanted to see him healed, even if he would have still been heartbroken, and I wanted them to show us his decision to run away. At least then the physical brokenness that reflects too perfectly his emotional brokenness wouldn't have been the last thing we remember of him. And if you know me at all, you know I am NOT looking forward to Breaking Dawn or ANYTHING that Meyer does to him in that book... so that was it for me... and I am really REALLY upset that that is all we get. I feel a little cheated.

SQUEE MOMENTS

But so many other things within the movie made me so happy and satisfied with it, that I didn't even realize there wasn't an epilogue until the 2nd viewing, and I didn't even realize that my favorite line had been left out till the 3rd viewing ("Does my being half-naked bother you?"). I loved every single little fight (either of wits, come-backs, or stare-downs) Edward and Jacob got into. It was one of my favorite things about the book, itself. In fact, my favorite chapter of the book 'Fire and Ice' was also one of my favorite scenes of the movie, which was adapted pretty perfectly. Edward and Jake's interaction and candid conversation in the tent on the mountain was just AWESOME! I especially enjoyed the writers throwing in a shout out to the on-going battle of who is hotter by having Jake say, very literally: "We both know I'm hotter than you." Shazzam! Get it!? I loved it.


The bed scene... with Bella and Edward was very delish. I was glad to see that Robert didn't hold back. He scooped up her little leg and went to town making out with her and they rolled around for a good... minute or so. And Bella didn't seem whiny or petulant like she is in the book. Nor did she seem ungrateful or begrudging when he handed her an engagement ring... No, Bella actually seemed lovable and relatable. It was like no Bella I had ever seen before, and I was so thankful! And even though I am Team Jacob, I do believe Bella and Edward are the right match. And I got really happy when he asked her to marry him and she accepted, because the look Robert had on his face was the sweetest thing. Edward was so happy, so full of joy, and it was adorable! Even if Bella is a wench and she doesn't deserve either of them, seeing Edward so happy in that moment made really me happy, too. I couldn't help it and I was glad to see it.

Another scene I couldn't wait to see was the scene where Bella and Jacob kiss. Knowing that was my one shining moment as a Jacob fan, it had to be perfect, and so there was a lot of pressure on this scene for me. It wasn't perfect, but it was still very good. The emotion and desperation was there all the way up to the kiss. Then, the kiss wasn't desperate and passionate enough. I wanted his hands to be on her back or something, hanging on to her for dear life. This is the thing he's always wanted, and he needs to feel desperate to keep it. I wanted hands in the hair, I wanted him to completely consume her. But what happened was still very good. Even though she was standing on a rock that made her too tall, he was still above her and swooped down upon her, a bit. The way he turns to her after she asks him to kiss her is just, to me, SO precious, and he had the surprise and excitement I had hoped for. The best part for me was that her hands were in his hair. CUTE. But it lacked the ferocity I felt it needed. But Tay made up for it because after the initial big kiss, he looked into her eyes and brought his hands around her face and kissed her sweetly, again. I was kind of left frozen in my seat, and it was a good moment.

Overall, the movie was LEAGUES better than I expected and absolutely left me feeling satisfied. This was, by far, the best of the series. Even though I am still wrestling through how I feel about the movie personally, there is no denying that. And I'm sure I'll see it a few more times before it leaves the theater. Hopefully in a few more viewings I'll be able to decide where it lands with me!

Now I want to hear from you guys. What did you think? What were your favorite parts? Etc!!

Gearing Up for Eclipse: A Jake Perspective

Since Eclipse is getting closer and closer, and since I have a past of Twi-obsessive behavior, I figured it would be a good idea to have a few blog entries to lead up to the big opening at the end of June. And you KNOW I love any reason to go to a midnight showing and dress the heck up. I'll be putting this new bright red hair to good use and showing up to the premiere as Victoria. Get ready.

Because Eclipse is the CRUX of the whole Team Edward vs Team Jake thing, and as an avid Team Jake member, I figure I should go ahead and be proactive about presenting a Pro-Jacob perspective. Now, I am Team Jake because he is my favorite character in the series, but that doesn't mean that I necessarily want him with Bella (though she'd be SO LUCKY to have him). I just want people to give him more credit and cut him some slack because he's AWESOME. There are so many great things about him that I think a lot of you Team Ed-heads overlook. (Yeah, and that's me in that pic with BOTH shirts. I don't have to ALWAYS choose. <3)

First, let's talk Taylor Lautner. I’ve always loved him as Jake. I’ve been so excited about him. Even before the movie hit theaters and Breaking Dawn, the book, came out the summer I read through Eclipse, I was watching interviews with this young boy and there was this moment in one of the interviews where he did the famous Jake line from Eclipse and winked, (This very moment! Click for the video! "Does my being half-naked bother you?") and I KNEW at that moment that he sold me on his interpretation of Jacob. Others didn’t know what to think about him. They didn’t know if he could pull it off, but I always wanted to see him try. Twilight didn’t give him that opportunity to show us the real Jake, and I couldn’t wait to see him bust out with it in New Moon.

However, the spring of 2009, Summit was negotiating recasting Jacob Black’s role and tossing Taylor out because they believed he was too small to fill the role of the post-transformation Jake. I was SO upset! I really believed in this kid and I had really grown attached to him while getting ready for him to be my Jacob. I couldn’t picture anyone else playing him, especially not the arrogant guy they had in mind to replace him (His name was Michael Copon, and he did an AWFUL interview when he was in talks with Summit that basically bashed TayLau and talked MC up, even though he admitted never having read the books). Luckily, Summit heard the outcry of the fans, the only Twilight outcry I believe was actually a legit concern (besides the complaints about BD, the book), and kept Taylor on.

So, going into that theater the night New Moon opened, I was ready for Tay to prove to everyone what I had always believed about him: He was going to make you love Jacob Black and he was going to play him the way he was supposed to be played. He was going to SHOW all the Team Edward people what they were blind to in the books as they read: Jake is a sweet, charismatic kid who deserves a chance. A chance with Bella maybe, but definitely a chance to be liked by even some Edward-Exclusive lovers.

Afterward, the biggest response from this movie that I witnessed was tons and tons of people jumping ship from Team Edward to Team Jacob. As a die-hard Team Jake member, it’s been satisfying, to say the least. However, I understand a lot of it has to do with young girls thinking Taylor Lautner is hotter than Robert Pattinson. Yet at the same time, I think one thing needs to pointed out. Some viewers have said they like Movie!Jake because he’s not the same as Book!Jake. HOWEVER, I say Book!Jake and Movie!Jake are almost exactly the same. (Yeah that's me with Jake... so what? Jealous.)

If you go back and reread New Moon, you may notice that the Jacob you saw in the film is very much the Jacob you are reading in the pages. The only difference is the way SOME people see Jake now. Before, when Jacob was nothing but an annoying kid, killing time before Edward came back into the book, it was easy to overlook the fact that Jacob is actually very sweet and charming throughout the book, New Moon. However, with a sweet face and portrayal from the movie slapping you in the face, it's hard to deny that Jake is kind of awesome. The original image of Jake created in the minds of some Team Edward people may change to be more human and more likable because of this. But that doesn't mean movie!Jake and book!Jake are different. It's just the way they are both perceived or interpreted in these different mediums.

When you read, your brain will decode things the way your emotions and preferences sway your interpretations. Most of us were in agony waiting for Edward to return while reading New Moon, instead of trying to get to know Jacob when we should have, which is why his character may have been skewed for some readers into someone annoying and unnecessary. However, the movie is a different experience. It’s harder to deny what kind of character he is when you are watching it on a screen and it’s all right there in your face. The positive energy, the charisma, the chemistry that he and Bella share, the hurt he feels when Bella leaves him. I can understand that many readers probably didn’t even care if Jake was hurt when Bella left in the book because they just wanted to make sure Edward ended up safe, but during the film you can’t help but care when you’re forced to come face to face with that situation on screen. You can’t help but see the unashamed way Bella used Jake to get through a hard time, lead him on, and then discarded him. It’s all much more obvious on screen.

With that being said, I think perhaps some people will enter Eclipse with a different outlook on Jacob than the one they had before. At least I hope this will happen, because I don’t see Taylor playing him any differently than he played New Moon Jake, ie. nearly exactly as he is in the book. Eclipse is the book many people have a problem with Jake, but maybe, with this new vision of what Jake has gone through, more people will be understanding of him. We got a taste of Eclipse!Jake at the end of New Moon. Can’t wait to see more!

GET READY!

MTV Movie Awards: Live Blog

Pre-show:

7:36: Can't really handle how annoying and trashy the Jersey Shore group really is... and it only gets classier with Snookie being a guest interviewer on the red carpet. Uuuh.

7:37: First award of the night "Best Fight" went to Ali Larter and Beyonce. Everyone should know that I thought it should have gone to Robert Downey Jr and Robert Mallait from Sherlock Holmes. But it being MTV, I'm not guessing anything that actually matters will really win...

7:41: Oh goody... after the red carpet we get to see the first 10 minutes of the Jersey Shore season premiere... WHY do people watch this crap?

7:42 OH goodness, Katy Perry has blue hair. Still cute.

7:43: OH MY GOD!!!! Les Grossman and Robert Pattinson!!!! OHHHH how I love random Tropic Thunder references, and ESPECIALLY when they are combined randomly with RPattz. That was too good.

7:48: Going comatose for a few to save myself from this preview of Jersey Shore. AWFUL.

7:57: Can we PLEASE make it stop? What has MTV come to?

Awards Show:

8:01: OMG opening with Tropic Thunder stuff just wins me over. And you KNOW this is my favorite Ludacris song ever.

8:02: OH MTV you make me so happy!! TayLau and RPattz in skits showing personality? It's SO MUCH THAT I LOVE.

8:03: BAHAHAH Tom Cruise just called Will Smith the Fresh Prince. And then Bill Heder said "Parent's Just Don't Understand."

8:06: Alright, let's see if Aziz will actually be pretty good, or lame and annoying.

8:10: Just saw Paul Rudd in the audience. Makes my heart smile. AND Aziz is bashing 3D and so I am on his side so far.

8:11: Oh God, already talking Twilight.. and Rob is awkward... and K-Stew already looks like she hates her life. Tay is adorable as usual. :)

8:14: Best female performance.... K-Stew. Let's watch her awkwardness. Can she make a complete sentence? Not so much stuttering as just trying to get through it ASAP. At least she faked gratitude this time!

8:22: Russell Brand... please button up. kthnxbye

8:23: So I guess EVERYTHING is going to be Twilight centered tonight? It's a guilty pleasure for me, but I know many people are like "STFU OMG Twilight SUX."

8:25: Break out star? Please be Anna?! ... IT IS!! YAY! And she looks SO hot. Bless her little heart. She's the cutest, and I feel personally proud of her even though I've had no reason to feel responsible for her. LOVE her!

8:29: Could this actually make me like Tom Cruise again?? WTF!! Les I love you. And you dancing with J-Lo.

8:31 The HARRY POTTER SNEEK PEEK WILL BE WORTH SITTING THROUGH THIS.

8:36: Best Scared Performance... went to Amanda Seyfriend just because she kisses Megan Fox in that movie. Should have gone to Paranormal Activity.

8:38: HARRY POTTER PREVIEW OMGOMGOMGOGMGMGOMGOMG AM DYING RIGHT NOW!!!

8:45: Best kiss... PLEASE don't be K-stew and RPattz. Oh my God... really.. it's them again. Will they kiss THIS year? They faked us out last year. Haha, and she passed the statue off to Robert since she dropped hers last year. Smoke and mirrors my ass. KISS B! KISS! Wow... that was annoying. Faked out for like 4 minutes until he just grabbed her and it wasn't smooth. LAME. Should have just done it.

8:52: Katy no... those shorts are... TOO BIG. I mean.. they make you look big and you AREN'T!

9:00: Oh SANDY B is there!! How sweet! She's being honored and I love her.

9:06: WOO, girl, those heals. You look AMAZING. Everyone loves her and it’s great. “This award is for old people who are going to step down and let someone new come in. Well, that’s not going to happen, I’m staying.”

9:09: Uuuuh, Scarlett and Sandra are going to kiss. Yup they just did.

9:18: Everyone loves when Samuel L. Jackson says the F word.

9:19: Tom Felton just won for best villain! Would have never thought!! He is SO PRECIOUS!!!

9:27: Wow all these “Biggest Badass” nominees suck.

9:29: Twilight sneak peek. I’m Team Jake. Duh.

9:36: Best Male Performance… RPattz. Son of a Bitch. Taylor was SO MUCH BETTER AND HAD REAL ABBS.

9:42: I love Xtina. She always does good performances. And sings live. Very rare.

9:58: Tom Cruise is not Les Grossman now… and he’s actually more creepy. Awe someone just screamed “Show me the money” and he cracked up.

10:00: Best movie goes to… New Moon. LAME. Gah, I was thinking at LEAST the Hangover would win. At least this gets Taylor Lautner on stage. BAHAHA. Peter is f-bombing like crazy and the censors are REALLY terrible at covering it up.

Meyer FAIL: Why Twilight Fails as Literature

Just like the majority of ladies in the world, I was sucked into the Twilight Craze of 2008. I read all three of the released books within a week and was immune to the bad writing because of my love for the story and characters. It wasn't until after my horrendous experience with Breaking Dawn that I realized just how bad the books were.

Here's my initial reaction to Breaking Dawn just after having finished it the summer of 2008:

"So who wants to take a wild guess as to which was better for me?

A. Seeing Batman for the 4th time on Sunday, at the Imax ORB. Reading Breaking Dawn

What do you guys think?

If you picked Batman, you win! Was that predictable??? Well, probably less predictable than Breaking Dawn ended up being. When asked to describe this book to those who haven't read it yet, I told them it was like watching the movie Titanic, and instead of the boat sinking at the end, it lifted up out of the water and was a space ship, all of a sudden.I don’t think I have ever EVER been so disappointed in reading a book in my life. This book was a train wreck… except that I could look away from it because I was bored with it. It was like she got tired and so she let a fan with half a brain write the last book.

It isn't true that anything is possible in a fantasy novel. You have to have rules... otherwise it's just cheese. There wouldn't be ANY conflict in a story without rules, and therefore no plot, and furthermore no good stories to tell. Which in this case, there wasn't. How many warm fuzzies could there possibly be in one book? It was like surprise happiness, after surprise happiness, to the point where it was just sickening. There was hardly any conflict. Well, any real conflict. Even when the Volturi approaches, there was no fear that something bad would happen. And … no one even dies. There is no loss at all! Meyer has completely gone against the rules of her own world, in this book, more than once. How am I supposed to believe her for the rest of the story when she pulled the rug out from under me in the first hundred pages? It was hard, but I kept holding out hope… it was not rewarded.

The only way a proverbial ‘red ribbon tied to the top of an ending’ feels rewarding is if there is some struggle somewhere in the book. That is the problem with this story. There is no REAL conflict the entire time. Bella gets her way in every single way possible, so the fact that she lives happily ever after isn’t surprising or rewarding in any way at all. It’s almost sickening. And it’s pretty easy NOT to really care either way, by the end, anyway. "

After that, every single flaw that I had been blind to before came screaming at me from every single page of the series. In a desperate attempt to find something redeemable about these books, I started re-reading them. About half way through, this happened:

"I cannot finish Eclipse... it's SO bad. I can't believe the difference in the experience I am having the 2nd time through these books compared to the first time.

Twilight was ok the 2nd time through. I still enjoyed New Moon the 2nd time through as well, despite noticing a bunch of goofy parts. But Bella is getting on my last nerve on every page in Eclipse. I think I actually said the phrase "I want to smear Bella against a wall with a canon," this week.

I am going to have to read Breaking Dawn again soon.

...omg...

...death....

I want to have hope that Breaking Dawn won't be utter crap the 2nd time through. But I fully expected to still like Eclipse when I started reading it for the 2nd time... and yet... 100 pages from the end I want to add it to the compost heap in my backyard. So if I re-read a book I generally liked at first, and now hate upon 2nd viewing.... I'm SURE BD will suck more the 2nd time through because it was an abomination the first time! There is no hope!

SM's writing is terrible OVERALL, regurgitated, unoriginal, and cheesy 80% of the series. Turn to any page of any of the books and you'll more than likely find one of these phrases/words:

- “He reached across the table to cradle my face in his hands…” (I SWEAR he does this more than any other being has ever done this EVER. And he does it at THE MOST random times. Like in the middle of a conversation… I mean, seriously… stop touching her face, Edward. It’s gotten to level where I actually picture Gollum pawing at Frodo’s face in The Two Towers movie any time I read this phrase.)
- “I had to remind myself to breathe…” (She does it so often, you’d think she would have died by now.)
- “…a sudden blaze of chagrin.” (I only had to turn the page twice to find a phrase with this word in it…)
- “…my favorite smile…”
- “…eyes like liquid…"

-"... topaz eyes"
-"... liquid topazy eyes.."

- “… porcelain god…”
- “…perfect lips…”
- “… perfect chest…”
- “…perfect Adam’s-apple…”
- “Perfecty perfect perf perf!!!”
- “Hey! Indestructible beings! I’m worried you may skin your knee trying to protect me so I’m going to whine on and on for pages about that, sending the reader to [what can only be described as] the brink of a break down… K?” (Alright, so I ad-libbed that one… But it’s the jist of what Eclipse basically is.)

I guess I just never noticed, the first time through, that there was so much cheese, because I was so in love with Edward and Jacob and wanted to know WTF was going to happen. Now reading it slower and more deliberately, I am seeing a growing surplus of things that annoy me... Bella being #1, followed by SM's tired ways of setting up faux distress and continuing her empty/shallow descriptions of the perfection of vampires. The patterns of bad writing from Breaking Dawn are littered all throughout the series... I can hardly believe I never saw it before."

Needless to say, I stopped reading right then. There was no way I was going to be able to subject myself to Breaking Dawn once again. Just no way! My experiment had failed, there was nothing redeemable about the series for me, after that. In fact, a second reading made it more clear just how GOD AWFUL the series really is.

Twilight has been one of the biggest disappointments to me in my Entertainment history.

Here's a great link to two bloggers having an intellectual discussion about S. Meyer's writing style. Hilarious and right on target. Enjoy.

A Formal Defense of Robert Pattinson - Movie Review: Remember Me

REVIEW:
I wasn't going to make a blog post out of this, but Remember Me was very surprising in many ways. I went into it with low expectations. I thought it was going to be a regular boy meets girl, girl changes boy, they fall in love, there's trouble, then everything gets fixed and it ends happily ever after. Mostly I just expected this film to be another excuse for Summit to flaunt the mug that is Robert Pattinson and get lots of money from teeny girls who can't get enough of him.


I was impressed to find that the plot was much deeper and more complicated than what I expected. It was deeper look into the lives of people living in NYC and all trying to keep their heads above water after having experienced real trauma in their lives. It was sad and provoking. The entire time each character is searching for hope and happiness, and just as it seems they are on their way to FINALLY achieving it, the ending happens, and I was literally speechless. I definitely did not see the ending coming. Not to mention how shocked I was that no one had ruined or even hinted at the ending before I had seen the movie. It was a shrewd but nice move by the writers, and a shocking snap-to-reality to any viewer just out to kill time by watching eye-candy for 2 hours.

It definitely jolted my perspective. Even though it was absolutely not what I had expected, and kind of pissed me off with how it made me feel when I really just wanted to relax and eat the pastry I snuck into the movie via my giant purse, I loved the movie. It truly affected me, and that's the mark of something special, in my opinion.

DEFENSE:


It's obvious that Robert Pattinson is one of those UBER famous guys that a lot of people either love or hate, and it's not even all his fault. A lot of girls ONLY love him because he's Edward Cullen and have deluded themselves into believing he really IS Edward Cullen. Another group of people ONLY hate him because he's Edward Cullen and they can't stand all the hype. Either way, neither of these groups have based anything on Robert Pattinson, himself. It's all about the illusion and stigma created by the Twilight saga, and I have a sneaking suspicion that no matter what the RPattz-ideology, Robert is uncomfortable with both.

It's hard when you get stuck under a label as an actor. It's hard for the general public to see you any other way (which is a sad commentary in itself about how close minded and judgmental most people are, but that's another blog post entirely). And being stuck under a label like "Dreamy Vamp" doesn't seem like one that is or will be easily shaken off. (photo from GQ)

That's when the 3rd group of RPattz commentaries come in. There are those, who can see past the type-cast, and judge him based on his talent. Now, I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't one of those people who has been seriously annoyed at Robert Pattinson and his boring and slightly confusing portrayal of Edward Cullen in Twilight. He's stoic... he's stoic... he's angsty... he's angsty... then he makes out. That about covers it. It's easy with all of the fuss over him in that role to start to wonder: "What the HECK is the big deal about this kid?" Beyond his beautifully sculpted cheek-bones, is there anything more there?

Declaration: I believe there is. I have to be honest and say that, yes, after 2 and a half years of Twilight craze surrounding me and filling up my days (as I do teach freshmen English), it was easy for me to fall in with the rest of the haters and just say "Gah, he's a pretty face with little talent. Just like K-stew and her awful attitude. Only her face isn't as pretty." (Was that harsh? I'm ok with it.) But seeing Robert in this Remember Me role made me double back, and perhaps, just perhaps, I am about to formally eat my words.

In the world of Twilight, where there is nothing if not skin-deep sentiment, it's easy to do a bad job on screen because the script doesn't demand any more of the actor. It was eye-opening to see Robert in a role with actual DEPTH, where his character is full of angst, but actually HAS A REASON to be that way. There were levels to his Remember Me character, Tyler, and it was fascinating to watch him being peeled away slowly throughout the film.

Robert's portrayal was explosive. This character allowed him to stretch his legs and an actor and explore HUMAN emotions that many people in the real world can relate to and understand. And he does it in a way that is genuine and profound. When given a good script with a good story, Robert proves that he has much more potential and range than what is displayed in Twilight.

As for Robert as a person, I've always found him to be nothing if not completely awkward in interviews, which has never changed, even after he's acquired massive fame. To me, this is endearing but I think that comes off as him being a douche bag to some people. To be honest, I think it's just him in his hatred for having to do interviews and appearances because he's not that great at them, especially now, knowing that millions of crazy fans are watching him. He's not the suave and charismatic actor. He's shy and introverted and most of the time he says things that either get him in trouble (ie. the recent comment to 'Details Magazine'), or things that don't completely make sense. I actually like that his fame makes him act out in this way, rather than other ways we've seen in the past from actors of his age. Such as, becoming a jackass, womanizing, and getting addicted to some sort of illegal substance. So far, so good with Rob.

It is for all these reasons that I think it's a shame that so many people have and will continue to judge him based on his role as Edward Cullen. It makes me sad to think that in many people's minds, he is type-cast as the sullen Cullen: the brooding "emo" vamp with no personality. That isn't all he can do, and he deserves to be given a chance to prove that. Hopefully his role in Remember Me will have surprised enough people to have some of the Twilight-stigma removed, but only time will tell, along with the types of role choices he makes in the future.

And just for kicks, my favorite role of Rob's: Cedric Diggory from Harry Potter. CUTE video! Before the fame. Love it.